XXX: State of the Union, 2005

In a word, xXx: State of the Union was horrendous. Really, really bad. It's one of those movies that made me wonder why I was even watching it. "Turn it off, watch something else. Heck, staring at the wall would be better than this," I kept telling myself. But I didn't. I persevered to the end, and now I'm the only person I know who can say "I've seen xXx2!" Not that it's worth much. Movies like xXx: State of the Union are meant to be over-the-top. Every event, every stunt isn't meant to be believable and realistic. But there's a line, and xXx2 crosses it. More like paves over it so you have no idea the line was even there. The plot was so far out there you couldn't even take it seriously. The characters were either stereotypes or so shallow I just didn't care. The acting resembled rappers making an attempt at movie careers. Oh wait... Even the action scenes were overkill. I love a good, senseless action movie as much as the next guy, sometimes even more, but xXx2 insulted my intelligence. I literally cringed at most of the dialogue. With each line I thought it couldn't get any worse, but it did. I couldn't begin to make up dialogue this bad. And the worst part was that Ice Cube delivered every line like it would win him an Oscar. The entire film took itself so seriously that it went from being a movie so bad you laugh at it to being a movie so bad you consider holding your breath until you pass out so you don't have to watch the rest of it. It was that bad... Ian Jane sums it up perfectly in his review at DVD Talk: If the first XXX was a James Bond film for those suffering from ADD, XXX: State Of The Union is a James Bond for the mentally retarded.

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