Transformers, 2007

*SPOILERS* The script overwhelmed the movie for me and made the experience an unpleasant one. I'll give two examples. First, when Bumblebee takes Sam and the girl to the planeterium. Suddenly screaming meteors start coming out of the sky careening at them. Yet, no reaction. What the...? How do they know they are friendly? More importantly, why aren't they startled or frightened? They could have been the bad robots coming at them. Second, the little girl sees Optimus Prime come out of her family's pool. She asks it if it's the tooth fairy? Come on, no one is that stupid. Not even a five year old. If so, get that girl some special attention, stat. In addition, I saw at least two scenes that were identical to scenes in "Armeggedon": the army guys walking away from the helicopter landing (the music is the same too) and the husband and wife running down the hallway in robes in their glass house. Give me a break. The incredible action scenes just were not enough to keep me invested. I hated this movie. Michael Bay should quit directing and go into special effects. Let someone else put a project like this together. Hire a decent writer and lose the cheese.

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For people who like to melt cheese on their popcorn, then the Transformers is the cheese filled summer blockbuster for you. I on the other hand found this to be loud and obnoxious. The real movie doesn?t start till almost an hour in to it where we actually see the robots. And after seeing the robots fight they are slow and a mess to look at when they are transforming. The movie starts out like a teenage hip cool Christine, then goes into an E. T. wannabe, then finally turns in to any old Michel Bay film. Another thing is the supporting cast was hardly in there at all, only in war and hacker scenes. And the war scenes aren?t that good. And the movie is really pro war which just unnerved me. There is one line that just left a bad taste in my mouth, Prime was telling the others they had to let one of the other robots die who had gotten captured or his death would be in vain, and he ended we must accomplish this mission. Now if that is not pro Iraq war then well? But I digress the bad guys weren?t introduced until the last 30 or so minutes which made them seem easily beaten and not threatening. And how did Megatron die and not turn into a huge bad megarobot at the end. Very anticlimactic ending. There was a few funny moments to the movie such as a big heavy set black man running from the police and falling through a sliding glass door, or a crooked car salesman talking bad about his mother. But when someone is trying to hide robots from his parents, or a robot relieving his lubricants on John Tuturro that?s going a bit too far. Anthony Anderson, John Turturro, and Jon ?Joe Buck? Voight did really good job even though there story line ended a bit too soon. Not really an awful movie but not good enough to make me happy. And where were all the civilian deaths. They kept saying that we can?t hurt humans, but would that not be inevitable. I was waiting for a car to transform when it had people inside then see the blood run down the robot.

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More then Meets the Eye! I was concerned at first that the special effects would over shadow the acting, I'm happy to announce it did not. The actors were well cast and the cinematography was excellent. The CGI effects were awesome and well integrated, with only a couple scenes where the effects were to busy for the eyes. They could have trimmed some of the silly stuff out to shorten the movie some. I'll agree to disagree with other reviewers who claim the story did not stick with the original cartoon. History and character names were right on for the most part. Heres hoping they do as well with the sequels.

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See the director's name? Michael Bay. He has a long history of making explosive films. They've all been moneymakers, but not all of them have had enough of a plot to justify the explosions. For some reason, a toy series has enough plot to make for a fun popcorn movie. Although I didn't play with the toys much as a kid, I liked the story. I liked the intensity of it all, and the giant robots. Everything melded well together, and nothing looking too CG. I was only forced to knock a star off because the movie ran entirely too long. I think they were trying to wrap up the story in case the movie did not perform well in the box office. By doing so, the movie was made longer, and less enjoyable. Still, it's a solid - fun to watch action movie. I was pleased with it.

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Directed by Michael Bay. And it wasn't The Rock. I think that's really all I need to say. More? Ok. The movie keeps jumping from kitchy 80s humor to serious epic action flick. It's cute when, say, the transformers are hiding from Shia's parents. It's awkward when an over the top John Tuturro has to be in both funny and serious scenes throught the movie. Instead of either fearing him or laughing at him I was just left with the question: "Will his health plan cover the therapy he needs?" It needed to pick a single style and run with it. There was no idea of what the movie wanted to be, just how many ways it could ingratiate itself to viewers. The special effects were pretty well done, but terribly filmed. Bay constantly used off kilter camera angles and extreme close ups during fights. This might have worked (but why would you not want to show the huge, sprawling fight scenes or the combatant choreography?) if the robots still had complete car parts on them, like hoods or doors with solid colours. They don't, so during the climax we zoom in on two of them, see a foot land, the foot vanishes, a tire flies and then they both run off. I had no idea who was hurt. Way to piss on the one thing this movie had going for it, Michale Bay. In the end, I wouldn't mind watching this in the background on TV if I had a really good book I was already reading. And honestly, there are a lot of other movies that can fulfill that function. And most of them didn't bastardize an 80s TV icon or cost nearly as much. I didn't hate it but it's certainly not a success of a movie.

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