The Royal Tenenbaums, 2001

Awful, just awful. The stereotypical wannabe/hipster film.

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"Talk Talk Brood Brood". Pauline Kael rolls in her grave over Wes Anderson's movies. If I ever acquire a taste for Wes Anderson, just shoot me, there'd be no reason to go on. I hate this movie and I actually own it. My local super market was liquidating their rental business and I picked up the two disc Criterion(!) version for two bucks. It had a pretty cover but I overpaid. It's all voiceovers, self-conscious framing and random quirkiness. It's a comedy without anything funny in it. I believe this movie runs seven hours so you might have to clear your calendar. It's longer than "Shoah"...err.. no wait, it says here it's only 110 minutes. Hmm. That doesn't seem right. This movie screws with the space-time continuum! Anyway, 110 minutes, I apologize... SEEMS like seven hours, okay? What's it about? Weirdly dressed weird people acting weirdly in weird monotone voices. There's tennis racket guy, there's jumpsuit guy, there's cowboy hat guy, etc..ad nauseating. There are no recognizable human beings in this movie just unsmiling, emotionally stunted grotesques. Arbitrary quirks masquerading as art. Gene Hackman tries to add some energy to this film but he gives up halfway through and it just breaks his spirit and he takes to his death bed. Although I own this, I refuse to put it in my DVD rack because I don't want people thinking I watch this kind of stuff. These characters have been spayed, neutered and had their tails cut off. This was made for unemployed film school dropouts- the really depressed film geek, the mumbling kind with a flat affect and poor hygiene that never leaves his mom's basement. Yeah, he loves this. It speaks to him. It tells him stay in bed, people are scary. On the other hand these discs make attractive his and hers drink coasters. They have a nice faux woodgrain finish and I'm not making that up. It's the only thing keeping them out of a landfill.

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Every moment of this movie is funny to me. Every moment. Maybe it's because I've seen it a million times. You know how, like, every little gesture and eye waggle of a movie like The Princess Bride becomes the funniest thing you've ever seen? This movie is like that. Except for people a little bit more grown up. Angelica Huston's character's lines in particular shine. And how common is something like that? To do your best to be part of a great, loving, wonderful family, and then in spite of your best intentions, you feel like you're a failure. They all feel like failures. Ben Stiller truly became a real actor in my mind when I saw him in this role. Alec Baldwin's voice-over... really the entire movie is witty as hell. But if you don't like movies like Rushmore or Life Aquatic, yah, you won't think this is funny.

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Wes Anderson's best movie without a doubt. Really funny, offbeat and clever. This is a movie I can definitely return to more than once. The characters that Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson invented are truly original and great fun to watch.

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