The Order, 2003

This Order is nothing but turkey; I want to send it back. Its is a painfully slow movie with bad acting and a script full of lines chosen from a menu of nothing but cliches. Despite its utter predictability, the undercooked plot has more holes than an oversize wheel of government-issued Swiss cheese. Rather than even make a passable attempt at suspense, this film offers nothing more than a few ripe red herrings. In short, don't waste your time. This movie is to film what a Big Mac is to food -- utterly predictable, entirely conventional, indescribably bland, and slathered with a special sauce whose ingredients you don't need to know. It has nothing to recommend it.

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