Kicking and Screaming, 2005

It’s pretty easy to sum up Kicking & Screaming. The only redeeming quality this movie possesses lies in Will Ferrell. The rest of the film is absolute crap. Pure, total crap. Personally, I love Will Ferrell, so he managed to keep Kicking & Screaming in the “just bearable” region. “Just” being the key word. The story was pretty simple: Ferrell takes over as coach for his son’s soccer team, the worst in the league. His father, Robert Duvall, is incredibly competitive, so of course the two go head to head. In the end, Ferrell realizes there’s more to the game than winning and gives up his ultra-competitive ways. It’s got everything a family comedy needs: two competing dads, soccer, kids, and some incredibly lame gags. Kicking & Screaming felt more like a sitcom than a full length movie. With the exception of the few scenes where Ferrell’s comedic genius shone through, Kicking & Screaming was not funny. Duvall gives a totally uninspired performance and Mike Ditka, well, let’s just say there’s a reason he was a football coach and not an actor. The kids on Ferrell’s soccer team are some of the most annoying, unfunny, obnoxious children I’ve ever seen. There was one small, oriental kid who was particularly bad. I was tempted to surgically extract my own eyeballs so I didn’t have to see him anymore. The other option was to turn off the television, and I honestly considered doing so during Kicking & Screaming. There is really no reason for movies like this to be made, and even less reasons for people to actually watch it. I made the mistake of renting it. I suggest you listen and learn: don’t make the same mistake! If you’re a Ferrell fan like myself, watch something else. Don’t waste your time with Kicking & Screaming.

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