Back to the Future, 1985

This is the ultimately inspiring yet deeply troubling tale of a man who overcame a serious and debilitating mental illness to become one of the most recognizable fashion icons of the 20th Century. Of course I'm referring to none other than Mr. Calvin Klein. Few know of this branding guru's early years, during which he struggled to overcome enormous obstacles, such as a severe dissociative disorder, paranoid schizophrenia, prolonged and extreme blurring of familial roles/boundaries... not to mention repeated exposure to 1.21 gigawatt electrical bursts generated by a highly radioactive fuel source. Klein experienced a turbulent childhood and teen years marked by several unexplained disappearances, which were later explained by Klein to others as periods of "time travel" in which he assisted an imaginary friend in the guise of a friendly, helpful "Doctor" persona who was most certainly a psychic stand-in conjured up from Klein's need for a strong central role model and father figure in his life. In fact, Klein's whereabouts during these episodes remains unknown. Back To The Future, questionably chooses to fill in these gaps through buying into Klein's mania wholesale, attempting to vomit his reportedly transcendentalized, time-unstuck meltdown on to the screen literally as some sort of morality play for the mentally enfeebled. Does it work? On occasion. Perhaps though, Zemeckis should have stuck to a straightforward biopic of the personality instead of dwelling on the mad inner workings of genius that can get too bogged down in pure imagery and pathos. However it IS very important for the young of our species to understand that Calvin Klein invented down vests, kickflips and rock n roll. So basically... suck on that Hilfiger.

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